crap

Have you ever woken up and realized you can’t help yourself anymore. You are addicted to what someone might consider the worst thing ever. Every morning, okay maybe every day at some point in the day I realize I’m addicted to crap. Not like good crap, but crap TV. I have been watching crap TV for years, because I can’t help myself. Once I start I can’t stop watching. I want to know what happens; I want to know the whole story. I need to know what is going on. My main point would be Scrubs. I didn’t watch all of last season, because I didn’t have a good internet connection. Well now I do have a good connection. I’ve watched all the episodes of Scrubs season nine or Med School as they call it. The first episode was horrible. Everything that was good about the first season of Scrubs is gone. Now it’s just this really dumb comedy. The two main characters have been written down to stupid stereotypes. They don’t have any depth, yet here I am watching it. Five episodes in and there have been only ten minutes of good show in about 100 minutes of show. Yet I can’t stop watching. I love this crap; I even told my wife that this stuff is crap. I know its crap, but I need it. I need to know what happens to these crazy stereotype characters are going to do, but if you give me an outline of the show, I can tell you what will happen. Why? Why, does crap have to be so powerful on me? I’m just a sucker. Another good example is Stargate Universe. That show has been only decent at best, till the very last episode they had. I wasn’t going to watch this show after the 1st episode, but I just keep watching because I need some spaceship action in my life. So Stargate Universe is my show now. Then the cliff hanger at the end of the season break was unforeseen by me. I didn’t see it happening and now I can’t wait till it comes back. Sure it wasn’t crap but it wasn’t great either and now I have to watch it ever chance I get. I’m almost sure the show won’t be any more amazing after the break, but I hope it does. As long as television makes crap I’ll be there to love it. I need my crap, I’m addicted.

a new carol

The presents are unwrapped. The stockings are opened. The Christmas goose is finished, that if you eat goose for Christmas, I personally don’t. During this time of year we think of the many different Christmas stories that are out there. A classic that I’ve always enjoyed a little is the Christmas Carol. If you’re lucky you didn’t go see Jim Carry’s new version of that movie. I know I didn’t want to sully my memory of it. My Scrooge will always be Uncle Scrooge McDuck from Disney. That’s my Christmas Carol, has been since I was a kid. Yet, I feel a little bit like my life has taken a Christmas Carol turn this year. As many people know I work as processor for an armored car company. I get to count money all day long, and it’s not even my money. Every day I go in and count this money, so would Christmas Eve be any different? Of course not. That would be stupid. You need to work on Christmas Eve and count money. As I finished with all the different banks I had to count at around nine that night I thought to myself, what is going on? I felt like Mickey Mouse or Bob Cratchit. I was counting money on Christmas Eve when all I really wanted to do was be with my wife. On the plus side I didn’t have to work on Christmas Day. Thank goodness. One other thing that made me feel like Mickey was the fact that they gave me a Christmas Ham. I did opt to take it at thanksgiving so my family would have ham all of December to eat, but still the same principles applied to the Christmas Carol and my job. I’m pretty lucky to have this job though. They treat me way better than Scrooge ever treated Cratchit. Yet I can’t help but feel a little weird counting money on Christmas Eve

comic update

So I’m moving right along with the development of my Ed comic for my submission to Zuda. I have drawn five strips and colored four of them. I did this all last week and took the weekend off. Tonight I hope to illustrate the sixth comic of the eight comic that I need to submit. The only problem is I have run into a little writers block. I drew the first five strips in less than seventy-two hours. Which is amazing for me, cause they are not small one panel comics like I normally do. Then I finally came up with the sixth comic idea last night around one thirty in the morning, because everyone knows I can’t sleep at night. I have too many owl qualities to sleep at night. Like I like to stay up and eat when it’s dark. Awesome owl ability I must say. I was going to draw it before I went to work today, but I had too many little chores and goofing off things to do before I got around to it. Oh not having school and three jobs might be hazardous to my getting things done. Can I really complain though? I love drawing and making these comics. Plus if I do get selected it’s only one a week, not five like I did last week. I can handle one a week a lot easier than five or more. How do those guys do those newspaper guys do it? Wait, most of them aren’t that great. You only have a few amazing strips in the newspaper right now. Well I’m off to my day job.

nine years

Yesterday I finally completed a nine and half year course of action. I graduated from Boise State University. This is a big thing by itself, but the road I took to finally graduating was a difficult one. I first went to business school for a year and received a Graphic Design degree. After a semester of not being able to find a job I decide to go back and get my bachelors. After one semester at Indiana State, I found a job as a designer. Then my life took so many turns and twists. Over three years later and crazy adventures I decide to go back school. The last four years I’ve been going to BSU. It’s been so crazy and odd. I’ve meet so many great people. I made friends and married the most beautiful woman in all of Idaho. That’s right; she is the most beautiful girl in all of Idaho. Nine years of random exploring and self discovery to end up with degree in Communication and a beautiful family. I could not ask for more. After leaving high school I could have never imagined my life would turn out this way. I never thought I would move west of the Mississippi again. I saw myself in Midwest for rest of my life, maybe going east, but not west. Oh how life can take you in some many different directions. Robert Frost talked about two roads; I think there are some many different roads anyone can take. I have traveled my own for the last nine years, but no longer. I now travel with my companion, my love, my wife. To say there are only two roads is a very simple view. There is no road that everyone takes. That’s just being judgmental and short sided. I took many different roads in my nine years after high school and now I will take many more roads in my life. The great adventure awaits all of us. I plan to enjoy my mine.

webcomic

I’ve decide it is time for me to make an official webcomic. I’m thinking that I will modify my Ed the Business warrior comic to do this. I just don’t know how much people like or dislike Ed comic. I’ve put many up on flickr and I’ve been putting new color copies of Ed comics on my blog. The question is whether I should do it or not. I’m planning on submitting them to Zuda comics which is part of DC comics. They use competitions to see which webcomics they plan to pick up. The problem with that is I’ve looked at who wins and who hasn’t over the last couple of years. The types that win are not the type of comics I draw or read. They do have the type of comics that draw in the competition, but they never come in first. The closest one I’ve seen is second and that was by Wes Molebash and he does amazing webcomics. I’ve been reading his different comics he rights for years now. If he can’t win with an awesome cat comic, how am I going to win with a silly business comic? Although my Ed comic has been featured on other people’s blogs before. It’s been about four since that happened, but I might be able to capture my raw Ed power again or I might just be crazy. Okay so I’m asking all of you if you think that I have the talent to do this competition. I would need your support and willingness to actually go to www.zuda.com and make a profile so you can vote for my comic. If I win, I could do this as a part time job, which would be the most amazing thing ever. So let me know.

Here’s a couple ED comics to view:

filing

I started training my replacement for Boise State Budget office assistant. The job is not as exciting as you would think, or maybe you don’t think it’s exciting. How would I know? I just file lots of different reports for the Budget office. I really don’t feel like there is a lot to show someone. I have three more days of training before I’m done working there and my replacement will be there every day I am there. I don’t dislike my replacement. I had to leave at some point and with graduation this is the time. I can’t have a work study job when I’m not in school. The only problem with my job is it not exciting. I enjoy what I do there. I get to work with lots of paper and sort them in many different ways. It can be boring, I won’t lie about that. There are days where I go in and I don’t remember what I did because I was on autopilot the entire time. I still enjoyed the job, but it’s not an exciting one. Well, if filing is boring, try watching someone file for four hours. I was instructed by my boss that I was to show my replacement how to do things and then have her do it. So for four hours I watched her file. I could have jumped out the window it was so boring. We work on the third floor, so it would do some damage. I only have three more days of watching her file to go. I’m not sure if I’m happy to have a job for three more days or to just not get out of bed. I know I will go in. I need the money and I can’t turn up such an easy resource for money. I just wish it wasn’t watching someone file. Could there be a more boring event? I’m sure there is, but I don’t really want to find out. I never want to find out.

Ed conversations 3

Really who hasn't had that dream. The raining down of sprinkles. Opening your mouth to eat as many as you can. That the kind of world I want to live in. That's the kind.

chapbook

This week I have been ignoring my school work, which is normal for me, and been focusing on Allison’s school work, which is not usual for me. About a month ago Allison asked me to illustrate her chapbook for her. I thought she called it a chatbook, which makes more sense than being called a chapbook. My friend Seej looked it up on Wikipedia to find out what a chapbook is. Wiki said, “Chapbook is a generic term to cover a particular genre of pocket-sized booklet, popular from the sixteenth through to the later part of the nineteenth century. No exact definition can be applied.” Well what I illustrated was a book of poems for Allison. She’s in an advanced poetry class and she wanted me to illustrate them for her collection. This is probably the first time I’ve ever actually illustrated something for someone else. I don’t know of anyone who writes things that need to be illustrated. It was so awesome to help Allison out. I wanted to share some of the illustrations I did for the chapbook. I hope you enjoi.

(Note to see the full sized pictures you need to click on them.)

This is the cover; the chapbook is entitled monsters of my heart. The title actually came after the drawing. It might have had some influence on the name.

This next picture is the illustration for the poem Sixteen. This poem is amazing, like all of Allison's poems. If you can figure out what the poem is about from this picture that would be awesome.





This last picture is the back cover. I actually drew this a really long time ago, but I just colored this picture this week. I felt this was a perfect endcap for the book. You would have to read the poems to understand, but it's perfect. Allison also loves trees, so it makes senses that the tree would replace a monster in the heart.



There were more illustrations, but some of them are old and one of them frames the poem it is illustrating. So this is all you get.

ed conversations 2

Why do people have to be so hurtful? Swords are an important part of any business attire. Poor Ed.

ed conversations 1

Ed is no longer just a black and white comic! He's got color now. This is the first in a series of different one panel comics I'm doing for Ed and the business warriors. I should also have rabbit comics up at some point. enjoi!

it's christmas time again

It's Christmas time again. We've seen snow fall from the sky already out here in Idaho. Thanksgiving is over, even if it's just a few days out. With the end of Thanksgiving it is time to put up the Christmas Tree. Luckily this is the first Christmas I have with my wife. We decide that it was time to buy a tree yesterday. We got a small four ft. tree from walmart and then decorated it last night.


Here we are getting ready to put the ornaments on:

I was lucky this year. I got to put the star on top of the tree. I've never got to do that before.

Unfortunately the first try was not the best. Poor little tree didn't like the weight of the star.

Luckily we finally got it all together and Allison was able to light the tree! Now that is just awesome.

Look it's the McLean's in front of their very first Christmas Tree! How awesome is that.

Christmas has come to the McLean home a little early in my opinion, but it's still the best thing ever. Merry Christmas to everyone.

comic junkie

I love comics and I can’t get enough of them. I don’t just like the spandex heroes jumping building from building either. I really enjoy independent comics, which I know can be superheroes, but at the same time a lot of them are not. I have been reading this one webcomic by Jon Adams called Truth Serum. This comic is a satire on world viewed through really bad heroes. These heroes never do really any good, which makes it even funnier. I was first exposed to Truth Serum when I bought one of the graphic novels about three years ago. This graphic novel was written before the web comic came out. Then recently I bought a new graphic novel. This one took the events of Bush presidency and showed how some of ideas were not the best. Comics are the best. They can look at anything and make statements about them that other might not be able to make. For one most people don’t care about comics, so they get away with a lot of things these days, since they got freedom of speech again. They just got that back in the late nineties. The major two at least did, the small companies never bowed down to the illegal sanctions of the government. I go off in so many tangents it’s not funny. I’m just an odd ball at times. One comic I read this year that was amazing is Satchel Paige Striking out Jim Crow. This comic is a view of how Satchel Paige was able to play baseball with white people viewed through the eyes of another player was forced into retirement from an injury. Of all the comics I’ve read this year, I would say this is the best. It’s a true story about a great man that many people might not know. Plus who doesn’t love a baseball comic? They don’t make many of them.


Comics are a medium that are not explored enough in the US. They can be so many different things. They don’t just have to be about superheroes fighting supervillains. They can be educational tools. If I wanted to teach someone something I would think that comics could have a powerful source to do that. In other countries comics are more than just entertainment. In Japan they have history comics. One of them that I read about was a comic about the invention of noodles in a cup. A small thing I know, but who would want to read about it when you have comic that talks about it. All I am saying is that comics need to be embraced more. I might not be the best source for this, being a comic junkie myself. It’s like asking a crack addict if crack is good for them. I would say my comic addiction is as bad being a crack addict, just ask my parents or wife. I have so many comics and spent thousands of dollars on them. I still wouldn’t want them to give them up. Comics are the best. I made my points, go read comics.

For your enjoiment an ed the business warrior sketch:

one month

One month today. I have been married a whole months as of today. It’s strange to think I’ve only been married to Allison one month today. It feels like we’ve been together so much longer than a month. I would have thought we were at a year almost, but that would be impossible. So here we are one month into our marriage. I remember our single ward bishop telling us that if we could make it through the first five days we could make it through anything. Another person told us that if we could survive the first five years we would be set to go. I really don’t believe either of them though. The first five days with Allison were to amazing to even think about leaving. I was in total bliss. How could I not make it through the first five days? I know that’s the honeymoon stage and I’m sure I’m still in the honeymoon stage because I can’t imagine a world without Allison. In five years I have no clue how I’ll feel. I will be a different a person. I will be future Michael and future Michael is not me. It’s a Michael that could be a better husband and person all around or he could be a new jack the ripper. Future Michael is a scary thing to think about, because I should know him, but I don’t. That’s not the point; the point is how does making it through five years guarantee that you’ll never break up? It doesn’t. That’s all I’m saying. I know marriage isn’t easy and that I’m always going to have to work at it. That doesn’t make me mad or sad. It’s just a fact of life. I’m really happy for the fact that I am married, that I do have a wife. My wife is amazing. I couldn’t ask for a better person to be married too. The future can hold so many things. I never saw myself married to Allison two years ago when I first meet her, but past Mike had no clue who future Michael was going to be and who he was going to love. I’m so lucky that I did decide to fall for my love. She has brightened my world a hundred time a million. I never want to be without her again. This past month has been the best month of my life. It hasn’t been perfect, but it has been better than anything I’ve ever experienced before. To Allison, thank you for one magical month. I can’t wait to spend the rest of all my months with you. I love you, Michael.

retro mike

It’s Saturday morning and I can’t help but think of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I loved that show growing up as a kid. I would not recommend watching the 80’s cartoon today. It is horrible, even for my standards. I can’t believe my parents didn’t go crazy just listening to it. Still twenty years later I still love those little green guys. This year is their 25^th anniversary; a huge milestone for any independent comic book. To honor the cartoon shows that have been aired they made a special Turtles Forever movie. It was on the CW this morning and it was excellent. It was awesome if you love the turtles and watched both cartoon shows, which of course I did. Turtle Power!

The show made me think about who I am. Lately I’ve been studying different communication topics in school; one of them is the effect of television on kids. The books say that television is horrible for kids. That the television sets take away all creativity from them. That goes against everything I hold to be true. The television was my best friend as a kid. I loved G.I. Joe and Ninja Turtles so much. If anything those shows gave me an over excited imagination. If you look at what I do with my spare time and even school time that should be evident. I draw comics and come up with crazy idea of thinking all the time. By the reasoning of the readings I’ve been doing things I should not be able to do. Any of the creative thinking I do should be impossible. I should be a mindless drone who is happy just watching other people live their lives. The way television work is the fact that we are able to view other people and not have any consequences. They want you to believe that you’re a peeping tom. You’re not. I know I’m not. I’m Michael McLean! and I love television. Someday I hope to make my own television show. I don’t know what it’ll be, but you know it’ll be awesome.

What I’m trying to say is that television is not bad for kids. Now if you let them watch six or seven hours a day maybe that might be, but who really has that much time? I don’t even come close to that. It might have something to do with the fact that I love make comics, movies, and greeting cards. Oh yes I’m currently working on all three. You should check out my kick-butt ed the business warrior comic. It’s off the hook. It’s kind of like I want to do all these things because I see all these awesome things on television that I would want to do that too. It’s my personal muse. I think I’ve made a point. Let your kids watch cartoons, especially the ones from the eighties. They’re the best. Go JOE!!!

the lonely octopus

The octopus. What is it about that creature that makes me so happy? The long tentacles that have suction cups on it? The crazy colors they can be? The fact that they live in the ocean and there is no way in heaven or hell you’ll get me down in there? The octopus. It is one of God’s mysteries, like winter or ninety degree weather. We could ponder the reason for octopi for decades and never know the true meaning or we could just go get a hamburger. I’m always looking for a good hamburger. So the mystery of the octopus and why I am driven to draw it will remain a mystery. A mystery as deadly as the werewolves.

twenty-five facts

I know this is a little old and I posted it on facebook last year, but i thought it was good, so it's coming here to blogger now. I also haven't updated since i originally made it, so if it seems out dated it is. - michael

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. I was born in Iowa, but I tell everyone I’m from Indiana; but no one remembers Indiana anyway.

2. I deeply love comic books, I spend more money on comics than any person should.

3. I love to draw. I draw mostly comics about my life, but I have dreams of drawing bigger and better comics someday.

4. I love watch good TV commercials, not lame ones like local car commercials, but good ones. They just make me feel happy. I really like the ones with a storyline that goes through looks on commercials, like the country crook hands commercials. They started single and ended up married with a kid. Great stuff.

5. I really like meeting new people, but I hate talking to new people. I always want to meet new people, but I never know what to say. Plus I don’t feel like I can be myself around new people for a while.

6. I hate being alone, but I don’t like groups of people. I always want to be hanging out with people when I’m alone, but then when I am all I can think about is all the cool stuff I could do at home by myself.

7. I like nerdcore hip-hop, I even have tried making a few of my own nerdcore tracks.

8. I hate making phone calls. It has something to do with my anxiety.

9. I love text messages. They are so cold and impersonal, yet they can say so much.

10. I don’t believe in having a favorite anything. I change so much so quickly that I can’t say one thing is my favorite forever. It just depends on the mood I’m in at the time. I enjoy to many things to have a favorite anything.

11. For the last year my favorite color has been green. I literally just bought like seven green shirt since I really embraced this color. Before that my favorite color was blue for a really long time.

12. My top movies would be (in no certain order): 1. Stranger Than Fiction 2. High Fidelity 3. Shawn of the Dead 4. Hot Fuzz 5. First Sunday (wow I didn’t even see that coming) 6. Lock Stock and Smoking Barrel 7. Star Trek: First Contact 8. Hot Rod 9. Forgetting Sarah Marshall 10. Empire Records

13. I say, “That’s what she said” way too much.

14. I love mcdonalds double cheeseburgers, but starting to enjoy the mcdouble a little more. It only has one slice of cheese instead of two.

15. I’ve worked at Arby’s, McDonald’s, Burger King. And Chicago Connection. Way to many different fast food places.

16. I graduated with a graphic design degree when I was 19 and worked as a graphic designer at OfficeMax (the copy center) and Health Care Excel. For a couple of years.

17. I like making short movies. I just made a stop-motion movie that was awesome.

18. I like action figures. I have a large collection back at my parent’s house. I’m trying to not buy so many here in Idaho.

19. I have five sisters and one brother. They’re the best.

20. When I was young, I never wanted to be anything but a father. When I say young I’m talking my teens. I still have no idea what I want to do with my life other than someday be a father.

21. I really like punk music. I’m not talking about emo punk that they have now. I’m talking about rancid, boucing souls, mxpx, nofx, and blink 182.

22. If I had to give a favorite song, it would be Surf Wax America by Weezer. Since I start listening to music when I was in my teens, I’ve loved that song. It’s the one song that always makes me happy. I don’t l know why either.

23. I don’t care about sports at all, never have.

24. I’m named after this random person is Manhattan, KS that was friends with my parents. His name was Michael Bradshaw. I always tell people I was named after Michael Jackson though. Then I tell them my parents want to mess me up, which is a total lie, unless you learn my middle name.

25. My middle name is Merriam.

i heart nerds

I am a nerd. I have no problems with the fact that I love comic books and know more about science fiction movies than football. I have always been a nerd and always will be. My nerdiness helped me land the hottest girl I’ve known. Yet my nerdiness comes from an odd source. I believe it comes from my love of nerds candy. I’ve been eating those sweet candies since I lived in Iowa. That would be my entire candy eating life. Over this beautiful Halloween season my wife and I bought candy to give out the tricker treaters. In the end no children ended up at our place (just like I wished). So now we have a ton of beautiful candy to eat. Could life get any better? One of the candies I picked to eat was nerds. I love those little candies. This got me thinking about why do I love nerds candy? It goes back to living in Cedar Rapids, when my father was the Parks Director for the city. I remember going to different sites as a kid with him. This was when I was quite young so I’m not sure what kind of buildings they were, but they had candy. That was the best thing about going out with my Dad on his calls. You would get candy at the different offices. One of the main candies they all seemed to have was nerds. They came in the small box with just one flavor, but it seemed like a ton of candy. All these delicious candies in a perfect sized box for a kid. I loved those candies, I still love those candies. It was a little frightening going to some of those building with my Dad, but the nerds made it worth it. I’m sure some of the buildings were maintenance buildings which have scary machines in them. In the long end of the story, my father is the reason I’m a nerd. He feed me so many of those nerds candies that I had no chance of being anything else. Good thing my wife loves my nerdiness or else I would have to do something about it.

the weight

One week ago I was married to my wife. It has been one of the most amazing weeks since then. I consider myself the luckiest guy in all of Idaho right now. With marriage comes a new ordainment to my body. I am now wearing a wedding ring. I’ve never been much of a jewelry guy in my life. My senior year in high school is the only other time I’ve ever really worn a ring. It was a small one I wore on my middle finger. I wore it for about four or five months before I got sick of it and it broke on me. I never replaced it, because I no longer felt like wearing jewelry. My wedding ring is very different than that ring. For one it’s on my ring finger instead of my middle finger. Second it’s much heavier than that ring. It feels like my finger is getting a work out all day. By the end of the night I can barely lift my hand. I’ve never felt like this before. It’s just a ring on my finger and my whole hand is sore. I want to just put my finger into a sling because it’s so heavy.

This weight is more than just physical weight. The soreness is also a reminder of the fact that I’m married. I have never been one of those guys who believe that marriage is prison or the end of my life. I am now seeing why people might say that. My wife is amazing, but this ring is a huge weight. It’s like I have a ball and chain to my finger. The weight helps me remember my wife too. It helps me remember how much she loves. It’s there to help me remember that I have someone to go home to every night. It’s there to show me that I’m no longer alone. My finger might feel like it has a weight on it, but my soul feels as if a weight has been lifted off it. It’s such an odd feeling. My hand feels weighed down, but my soul is feeling like it’s in the heavens. Only my wife has been able to make me feel the way I am. I’ll take a sore hand for a while to be with the most wonderful woman in the world.

a new mclean

There is a new McLean in my family, no I’m not talking about Hattie (although I can’t wait to meet her). I’m talking about my new wife. This last weekend I was married to my love. It was one long weekend with so many things that needed to be done, but it’s over now. I am a married man and I happy. I never thought I could be this happy for this long. I’ve never felt such joy and love in my life. I love that I have a wife. Someone I can talk to and just be with. Life is excellent. She makes everything better. I’ve know this for awhile now. That is actually why I decide to marry my wife. When I am with her she makes me feel a hundred times better than I had ever felt before. I knew she did this to me long before we got married or even dated. Insert awesome story now: I remember last October she got my full attention for the first time. I had known her for about a year before that, but didn’t really have an interest in dating her. Like people say it wasn’t the right time yet. We were at this church Halloween dance. I was rolling (rolling means to go with as a friend) with Dan to this dance. I was trying to help hook him up with this a girl he liked. At this dance was my (future) wife. My wife was amazing that night. She dress up as a gypsy and was looking pretty hot. She kept getting close to me, even though I wasn’t dress up at all. I dance at least three slow songs with her. If you’ve been to a church dance during this period you would know that they only play about six slow songs the whole night, if you’re lucky. I danced every slow song I heard with her (oh yes I was lucky). Then during fast songs I was working to help Dan out and she still ended up near me. At one point she got really hot and took off one of her million layers she was wearing. After doing this she came up to me and said I just took off my jacket (or something like that), what else should I take off? That comment made me think this is the girl for me. At the same time, I was like no way, this girl is way out of my normal league of dating. She was so beautiful and fun. That dance is what started a one year quest that made her my wife. I didn’t start out with that in mind. I was just looking for a girl to date. I didn’t start dating her till January, but I started to talk to her at church and school. I started to get to know the most amazing person I’ve ever met in my life. To think it all started because she kept standing next to me at a Halloween dance and ask me to dance. Now there’s a new McLean that is way awesome. No offense to the pervious McLean women in my life, but I love my wife. I love the fact that it took me a year to realize she was awesome and then another few months to even get the courage to ask her out. As Mary Jane Watson says, “You hit the Jackpot, Tiger.” Oh, I hit it hard.

The Nickel Cave

A couple summers back I was spending a bit of time in Utah. It was my first summer in Idaho after my mission and I really didn’t have anything going for me in Idaho. I was in-between jobs and I didn’t have any close friends at the time. Plus I was living with my sister and her three kids who were very young at the time (she still has a lot of young kids). I decide to take a couple trips down to Utah while I had the time off. You know, get away from the one of my sister’s kids to see my other sister and her three kids. Those trips were fun. I really just need a change of scenery and my oldest sister’s house helped me out with that. One of those times when I went down, her youngest keep talking about going to Nickel Arcade. I couldn’t understand what he was talking about at all. I thought he kept saying nickel cave. I couldn’t figure out why the three boys were so excited to go to a cave. I was on vacation so I decide to go even though I didn’t really have any clothes to go caving in, plus I hate to be enclosed in caves. I’ve got fears of everything. It should really make my life unlivable, but I still do some pretty awesome things. On the way to the Nickel Arcade I still had no clue what my sister and her kids were talking about. We drove up to Provo and I was still confused when we got there. After walking into the Arcade I figure it out. I felt really silly at the time thinking we were going caving.

On that trip to the Nickel Arcade I got to play some of the classic arcade games. The best was the fact that they had the original Mortal Kombat. I loved that game when I was a kid. I would always go over to my friend’s house and play with him. We would play on his Sega Genesis for hours. I missed that game. My nephew Calvin was there with me and I’m not sure if he had ever played Mortal Kombat before, but he played with me. It was great to be the guy who actually knew what he was doing for once. I’m that kid that can’t do the finish him moves. I totally wasted Calvin four or five times in a row before he got sick of playing me. That was one awesome trip to Utah. I loved playing Mortal Kombat with my nephews. I think I’m going to have to get it for my X-Box and start inviting my nephews over to beat them some more. Of course I have to be careful; some of my nephews are pretty good with a control. Some probably have more hours logged in on them then me.

Update on the David Cross incident. I told some of my co-workers and they decide that I do look like David Cross. They won’t say that I’m funny like him though. They think that I just look like him. So I guess I’m a balding guy with glasses, thanks everyone. On a side note, Nickelback is a horrible band. So if you thought about them when you saw this title I hope you hate them too. I know I thought about how I’d like to beat them as if I was Subzero from Mortal Kombat.

The Nines

Life moves so fast that no one can stop it. I’ve tried to slow it down and stop it many times; the best I get is a headache. I’m no Hiro from Heroes. If time did move slower who would enjoy the small delights this world gives us. I’m not saying I would not want to stop time or travel back in and relive some of my greatest moments, but there are so many that we have yet to have. The future is so amazing and so many things we are going to be able to do. That brings us to the nines. What are the nines? Well the nines are the amount of days till I get married. Nine days left of my single life. Will I miss my single life after I’m married? Of course I’ll miss them, but being married to my love is so much better than single.

Nine Reason to get married
9. Don’t have to sleep alone
8. Someone to eat dinner with
7. No more trying to figure out who to date
6. Someone to hold your hand during the scary parts of the movie
5. Someone to see movies with
4. Your heart is no longer empty
3. No more cooking for one
2. A person to kiss and you know will kiss you back
1. No more waking up alone in the middle of the night scared that you’ll always be alone

I can’t help but think that marriage may have a lot of scary thing too. What happens when you start having kids? What if she gets sick of you in a year or two? Those things I can’t plan for. I have to be the best husband in the world and hope that my love likes it. I can’t tell the future, but it’s open for business and I want to buy some of it. I can’t wait to embrace the future. The present is so sensational and I love where I am, but I’m ready for the nines to be up and start the millions with the one.

point blank

Family is a key element to my life. I love my family in the good times and in the bad times. Now is a time to remember, which is the worst skill I have. I have the worst memory of anyone I’ve ever met, which is sad because I’ve met some pretty big time stoners. Reflection is not my strong key, but at times even I must do it.

Calvin was my first nephew. I don’t remember much around his yearly years as I was still just a kid too. I remember more from the last few years than anything else. The second Christmas back from my mission the entire McLean Clan spent it in Utah at my sister’s enormous house. One night all the cousins were running around the house like chickens with their heads cut off. Calvin had his soft-air pistol out. I’m not sure if he actually was shooting some of his cousin or not, but some of the girl cousins complained of being hit. They were crying like they had been shot with a real gun. Now if anyone has ever been shot with a soft-air pistol you know the tiny yellow pellets don’t really hurt much. I use to get shot on my mission all the time by other missionaries. Me, being the evil uncle that I am decide to take matters into my own hands. I was able to wrestle the gun from him with little trouble. All of a sudden I was the terror. I don’t think Calvin feared me much, none of the nieces and nephews fear me. I don’t know why? Calvin started to egg me on, daring me to shot him, probably thinking that I would never do it. That kid did not know the crazy that his uncle was. I pulled the gun up and fired one right into his chest at almost point blank range. Next thing I know he was running to his mother crying about how Uncle Mikey shot him. His mother, my sister, told him tough. It was a Christmas miracle. I got off with shooting my nephew with no punishment and spent Christmas with my family.

Calvin will always hold a special place in my mind and heart. He was my first nephew. My love goes out to all those who miss him as I do, especially his family.

sold out

I grew up in a nice little college town out in Indiana. I love the town I grew up in. If it had it my way I would never have left Bloomington. Nothing stays the same though. I had to leave my beloved town to search new goals and discover new horizons. I would love to move back, but at the same time I discovered a new love; a new love for a town that is so different, but at the same time so much like my old town. I talk of my Boise. A little city nestled in mountains. I never thought I would fall for this town. It’s not my beautiful Midwest town I grew up in. It doesn’t have the beautiful trees that I grew up with. The air is morbidly dry and makes my delicate thumbs and lips split wide open. I bleed more in this little city than anywhere else I’ve lived. After two years of living in the city and two more years living in the surrounding towns, I’ve slowly fallen in love with my Boise. How can this be? How could I part with my beautiful humid Midwest town?

What would make me forsake my home? A place I’ve called home since I was eight? That is something I still don’t know. Today I was talking to one of my friends over pizza about Boise. She too is leaving Boise soon. She has to return to the dreadful Utah. She started talking about how she hated Utah and why Boise is wonderful. As we spoke in amazement of our adopted home, I came to realize how much I really do love this town we pass off as the big city. I use to hate how people made Boise the big city when it was not a big city, I’m not even sure it’s a city at all. It’s a quaint town that has sucked me in. This town has given me a university that I’ve thrived at and discover who I am. I love the green belt, a long walking park that I rode my bike on so many summer days; a place where I took my love to show her nature’s beauty. Boise is the town where I found the love of my life. I’ve grown to love the big city feeling in this town, maybe it is a small city. I will always cherish the fact that I found my wife to be in this town. Going to picnics in Camel Back, eating pizza in little pizza dives. Now I have my first home with my future wife. Not just an apartment, but a home. I hate to admit that Boise is my home. I will cherish this town forever. I love Boise just like I love Bloomington. I hope in my future adventures I can find a town like Boise or Bloomington to cherish as I have loved these two cities.

i'm tobias

The other day I was driving to school from meridian like I’ve been doing since I moved out of the northend. When driving there I really like to stop at McDonalds and get breakfast. I love the number two meal, the sausage egg mcmuffin. That egg with sausage just makes me so happy. I know some people want to hate on McDonalds, but they have an astonishing breakfast. A breakfast I would kill for. Don’t judge me; I love the sausage (insert bad joke). So back to the story, I order my food and pulled up to the first drive through window. There I was met by a normal worker. He took my credit card because I don’t believe in cash. Cash is a thing of past and I’m willing to embrace the future at full speed. The guy then turns to me and is like have you ever seen Men in Black two. I was like yeah, of course. Who hasn’t seen Men in Black two? It’s one of Will Smith’s best movies and you’ve got to love the Fresh Prince; that man has had some classic jams and great shows. The attendant then said that you look like the guy in the video rental store. Now I’m not sure if that actually from the first movie or the second, because David Cross who played that character was in both movies. I sat there and was like oh that’s cool. The guy said I looked like David Cross, who is Tobias in Arrested Development. I remember the first time I saw David Cross and was like that guy is awesome. I was watching Just Shoot Me! and David Cross came on as Elliot’s brother. He was pretending to be mentally handicapped so he didn’t have to work. Totally awesome!

Now here comes the problem, was that complement or a total dis? I love David Cross and think it would be awesome to be compared to him on a joke level. Now the attendant didn’t have any time to hear me make a joke, it was based completely on my looks. That means I look like a balding guy who wears glasses. Okay I am a balding guy who wears glasses, but come on! Do you really tell your customers that they are balding? I know I’m balding and I’m okay with it, but do you have to point it out? Do you have to say I look like people that are balding? What happens when I get a little more over weight? Will McDonald’s employees start telling me I look like George? Well buddy guess what? You are like thirty and working at McDonald’s drive through. You might have hair, but I’m still cooler and have a better job than you. At the same time thank you for comparing me to David Cross, I just wish you had done it for more than my hair and glasses. Hey maybe someday I might be as cool as David Cross and play a Tobias character on a cult classic TV show like he did. If David Cross sees this let it be known I think you’re awesome.