the weight

One week ago I was married to my wife. It has been one of the most amazing weeks since then. I consider myself the luckiest guy in all of Idaho right now. With marriage comes a new ordainment to my body. I am now wearing a wedding ring. I’ve never been much of a jewelry guy in my life. My senior year in high school is the only other time I’ve ever really worn a ring. It was a small one I wore on my middle finger. I wore it for about four or five months before I got sick of it and it broke on me. I never replaced it, because I no longer felt like wearing jewelry. My wedding ring is very different than that ring. For one it’s on my ring finger instead of my middle finger. Second it’s much heavier than that ring. It feels like my finger is getting a work out all day. By the end of the night I can barely lift my hand. I’ve never felt like this before. It’s just a ring on my finger and my whole hand is sore. I want to just put my finger into a sling because it’s so heavy.

This weight is more than just physical weight. The soreness is also a reminder of the fact that I’m married. I have never been one of those guys who believe that marriage is prison or the end of my life. I am now seeing why people might say that. My wife is amazing, but this ring is a huge weight. It’s like I have a ball and chain to my finger. The weight helps me remember my wife too. It helps me remember how much she loves. It’s there to help me remember that I have someone to go home to every night. It’s there to show me that I’m no longer alone. My finger might feel like it has a weight on it, but my soul feels as if a weight has been lifted off it. It’s such an odd feeling. My hand feels weighed down, but my soul is feeling like it’s in the heavens. Only my wife has been able to make me feel the way I am. I’ll take a sore hand for a while to be with the most wonderful woman in the world.

a new mclean

There is a new McLean in my family, no I’m not talking about Hattie (although I can’t wait to meet her). I’m talking about my new wife. This last weekend I was married to my love. It was one long weekend with so many things that needed to be done, but it’s over now. I am a married man and I happy. I never thought I could be this happy for this long. I’ve never felt such joy and love in my life. I love that I have a wife. Someone I can talk to and just be with. Life is excellent. She makes everything better. I’ve know this for awhile now. That is actually why I decide to marry my wife. When I am with her she makes me feel a hundred times better than I had ever felt before. I knew she did this to me long before we got married or even dated. Insert awesome story now: I remember last October she got my full attention for the first time. I had known her for about a year before that, but didn’t really have an interest in dating her. Like people say it wasn’t the right time yet. We were at this church Halloween dance. I was rolling (rolling means to go with as a friend) with Dan to this dance. I was trying to help hook him up with this a girl he liked. At this dance was my (future) wife. My wife was amazing that night. She dress up as a gypsy and was looking pretty hot. She kept getting close to me, even though I wasn’t dress up at all. I dance at least three slow songs with her. If you’ve been to a church dance during this period you would know that they only play about six slow songs the whole night, if you’re lucky. I danced every slow song I heard with her (oh yes I was lucky). Then during fast songs I was working to help Dan out and she still ended up near me. At one point she got really hot and took off one of her million layers she was wearing. After doing this she came up to me and said I just took off my jacket (or something like that), what else should I take off? That comment made me think this is the girl for me. At the same time, I was like no way, this girl is way out of my normal league of dating. She was so beautiful and fun. That dance is what started a one year quest that made her my wife. I didn’t start out with that in mind. I was just looking for a girl to date. I didn’t start dating her till January, but I started to talk to her at church and school. I started to get to know the most amazing person I’ve ever met in my life. To think it all started because she kept standing next to me at a Halloween dance and ask me to dance. Now there’s a new McLean that is way awesome. No offense to the pervious McLean women in my life, but I love my wife. I love the fact that it took me a year to realize she was awesome and then another few months to even get the courage to ask her out. As Mary Jane Watson says, “You hit the Jackpot, Tiger.” Oh, I hit it hard.

The Nickel Cave

A couple summers back I was spending a bit of time in Utah. It was my first summer in Idaho after my mission and I really didn’t have anything going for me in Idaho. I was in-between jobs and I didn’t have any close friends at the time. Plus I was living with my sister and her three kids who were very young at the time (she still has a lot of young kids). I decide to take a couple trips down to Utah while I had the time off. You know, get away from the one of my sister’s kids to see my other sister and her three kids. Those trips were fun. I really just need a change of scenery and my oldest sister’s house helped me out with that. One of those times when I went down, her youngest keep talking about going to Nickel Arcade. I couldn’t understand what he was talking about at all. I thought he kept saying nickel cave. I couldn’t figure out why the three boys were so excited to go to a cave. I was on vacation so I decide to go even though I didn’t really have any clothes to go caving in, plus I hate to be enclosed in caves. I’ve got fears of everything. It should really make my life unlivable, but I still do some pretty awesome things. On the way to the Nickel Arcade I still had no clue what my sister and her kids were talking about. We drove up to Provo and I was still confused when we got there. After walking into the Arcade I figure it out. I felt really silly at the time thinking we were going caving.

On that trip to the Nickel Arcade I got to play some of the classic arcade games. The best was the fact that they had the original Mortal Kombat. I loved that game when I was a kid. I would always go over to my friend’s house and play with him. We would play on his Sega Genesis for hours. I missed that game. My nephew Calvin was there with me and I’m not sure if he had ever played Mortal Kombat before, but he played with me. It was great to be the guy who actually knew what he was doing for once. I’m that kid that can’t do the finish him moves. I totally wasted Calvin four or five times in a row before he got sick of playing me. That was one awesome trip to Utah. I loved playing Mortal Kombat with my nephews. I think I’m going to have to get it for my X-Box and start inviting my nephews over to beat them some more. Of course I have to be careful; some of my nephews are pretty good with a control. Some probably have more hours logged in on them then me.

Update on the David Cross incident. I told some of my co-workers and they decide that I do look like David Cross. They won’t say that I’m funny like him though. They think that I just look like him. So I guess I’m a balding guy with glasses, thanks everyone. On a side note, Nickelback is a horrible band. So if you thought about them when you saw this title I hope you hate them too. I know I thought about how I’d like to beat them as if I was Subzero from Mortal Kombat.

The Nines

Life moves so fast that no one can stop it. I’ve tried to slow it down and stop it many times; the best I get is a headache. I’m no Hiro from Heroes. If time did move slower who would enjoy the small delights this world gives us. I’m not saying I would not want to stop time or travel back in and relive some of my greatest moments, but there are so many that we have yet to have. The future is so amazing and so many things we are going to be able to do. That brings us to the nines. What are the nines? Well the nines are the amount of days till I get married. Nine days left of my single life. Will I miss my single life after I’m married? Of course I’ll miss them, but being married to my love is so much better than single.

Nine Reason to get married
9. Don’t have to sleep alone
8. Someone to eat dinner with
7. No more trying to figure out who to date
6. Someone to hold your hand during the scary parts of the movie
5. Someone to see movies with
4. Your heart is no longer empty
3. No more cooking for one
2. A person to kiss and you know will kiss you back
1. No more waking up alone in the middle of the night scared that you’ll always be alone

I can’t help but think that marriage may have a lot of scary thing too. What happens when you start having kids? What if she gets sick of you in a year or two? Those things I can’t plan for. I have to be the best husband in the world and hope that my love likes it. I can’t tell the future, but it’s open for business and I want to buy some of it. I can’t wait to embrace the future. The present is so sensational and I love where I am, but I’m ready for the nines to be up and start the millions with the one.

point blank

Family is a key element to my life. I love my family in the good times and in the bad times. Now is a time to remember, which is the worst skill I have. I have the worst memory of anyone I’ve ever met, which is sad because I’ve met some pretty big time stoners. Reflection is not my strong key, but at times even I must do it.

Calvin was my first nephew. I don’t remember much around his yearly years as I was still just a kid too. I remember more from the last few years than anything else. The second Christmas back from my mission the entire McLean Clan spent it in Utah at my sister’s enormous house. One night all the cousins were running around the house like chickens with their heads cut off. Calvin had his soft-air pistol out. I’m not sure if he actually was shooting some of his cousin or not, but some of the girl cousins complained of being hit. They were crying like they had been shot with a real gun. Now if anyone has ever been shot with a soft-air pistol you know the tiny yellow pellets don’t really hurt much. I use to get shot on my mission all the time by other missionaries. Me, being the evil uncle that I am decide to take matters into my own hands. I was able to wrestle the gun from him with little trouble. All of a sudden I was the terror. I don’t think Calvin feared me much, none of the nieces and nephews fear me. I don’t know why? Calvin started to egg me on, daring me to shot him, probably thinking that I would never do it. That kid did not know the crazy that his uncle was. I pulled the gun up and fired one right into his chest at almost point blank range. Next thing I know he was running to his mother crying about how Uncle Mikey shot him. His mother, my sister, told him tough. It was a Christmas miracle. I got off with shooting my nephew with no punishment and spent Christmas with my family.

Calvin will always hold a special place in my mind and heart. He was my first nephew. My love goes out to all those who miss him as I do, especially his family.

sold out

I grew up in a nice little college town out in Indiana. I love the town I grew up in. If it had it my way I would never have left Bloomington. Nothing stays the same though. I had to leave my beloved town to search new goals and discover new horizons. I would love to move back, but at the same time I discovered a new love; a new love for a town that is so different, but at the same time so much like my old town. I talk of my Boise. A little city nestled in mountains. I never thought I would fall for this town. It’s not my beautiful Midwest town I grew up in. It doesn’t have the beautiful trees that I grew up with. The air is morbidly dry and makes my delicate thumbs and lips split wide open. I bleed more in this little city than anywhere else I’ve lived. After two years of living in the city and two more years living in the surrounding towns, I’ve slowly fallen in love with my Boise. How can this be? How could I part with my beautiful humid Midwest town?

What would make me forsake my home? A place I’ve called home since I was eight? That is something I still don’t know. Today I was talking to one of my friends over pizza about Boise. She too is leaving Boise soon. She has to return to the dreadful Utah. She started talking about how she hated Utah and why Boise is wonderful. As we spoke in amazement of our adopted home, I came to realize how much I really do love this town we pass off as the big city. I use to hate how people made Boise the big city when it was not a big city, I’m not even sure it’s a city at all. It’s a quaint town that has sucked me in. This town has given me a university that I’ve thrived at and discover who I am. I love the green belt, a long walking park that I rode my bike on so many summer days; a place where I took my love to show her nature’s beauty. Boise is the town where I found the love of my life. I’ve grown to love the big city feeling in this town, maybe it is a small city. I will always cherish the fact that I found my wife to be in this town. Going to picnics in Camel Back, eating pizza in little pizza dives. Now I have my first home with my future wife. Not just an apartment, but a home. I hate to admit that Boise is my home. I will cherish this town forever. I love Boise just like I love Bloomington. I hope in my future adventures I can find a town like Boise or Bloomington to cherish as I have loved these two cities.

i'm tobias

The other day I was driving to school from meridian like I’ve been doing since I moved out of the northend. When driving there I really like to stop at McDonalds and get breakfast. I love the number two meal, the sausage egg mcmuffin. That egg with sausage just makes me so happy. I know some people want to hate on McDonalds, but they have an astonishing breakfast. A breakfast I would kill for. Don’t judge me; I love the sausage (insert bad joke). So back to the story, I order my food and pulled up to the first drive through window. There I was met by a normal worker. He took my credit card because I don’t believe in cash. Cash is a thing of past and I’m willing to embrace the future at full speed. The guy then turns to me and is like have you ever seen Men in Black two. I was like yeah, of course. Who hasn’t seen Men in Black two? It’s one of Will Smith’s best movies and you’ve got to love the Fresh Prince; that man has had some classic jams and great shows. The attendant then said that you look like the guy in the video rental store. Now I’m not sure if that actually from the first movie or the second, because David Cross who played that character was in both movies. I sat there and was like oh that’s cool. The guy said I looked like David Cross, who is Tobias in Arrested Development. I remember the first time I saw David Cross and was like that guy is awesome. I was watching Just Shoot Me! and David Cross came on as Elliot’s brother. He was pretending to be mentally handicapped so he didn’t have to work. Totally awesome!

Now here comes the problem, was that complement or a total dis? I love David Cross and think it would be awesome to be compared to him on a joke level. Now the attendant didn’t have any time to hear me make a joke, it was based completely on my looks. That means I look like a balding guy who wears glasses. Okay I am a balding guy who wears glasses, but come on! Do you really tell your customers that they are balding? I know I’m balding and I’m okay with it, but do you have to point it out? Do you have to say I look like people that are balding? What happens when I get a little more over weight? Will McDonald’s employees start telling me I look like George? Well buddy guess what? You are like thirty and working at McDonald’s drive through. You might have hair, but I’m still cooler and have a better job than you. At the same time thank you for comparing me to David Cross, I just wish you had done it for more than my hair and glasses. Hey maybe someday I might be as cool as David Cross and play a Tobias character on a cult classic TV show like he did. If David Cross sees this let it be known I think you’re awesome.