Lately I have been feeling really odd at work. I just feel like I don't really belong there. I'm working as hard as I can, but I don't feel like I'm satisfied with my job. I know it's just a temporary job till I move back to Indiana, but at the same time I'm scared that maybe this is all there is. I go into work, I work my eight hours and come home. I love being home. I love being with my wife. I just wish I enjoyed what I did for a living. I have no clue if I'll ever enjoy what I do for a living either. I feel like I still haven't figured out what I'm suppose to do with my life. I would like to go and get my master's degree, but in what? I keep on thinking about getting my MBA, but do I really want a business degree? I don't think I do. I want to start working on a career, but the only thing I'm ever excited to do is draw comics. I went to design school and graduated, but I hated working for people. When it comes to design it's just so hard. They always want something a certain way but they never tell you or worse they just want crap built. That was the hardest thing is the world for me. I wanted to design cool things and they did not want anything creative. They wanted bland works. Works that involve no imagination or thought.
I was actually looking at this art school to get my master's in a couple weeks ago. I would have loved to go and receive this fine arts degree for comic design. The only problem is that once I'm out what do I do with it? Try to support a family on Indy Comics? I have no desire to work on superheroes and my art style doesn't really support that design. If I was single I would probably jump at it, but with a family to think about there's no way I would do it.
So my problem is I have no clue what to do with my life. I know, I've never known what to do with my life. I want to find a job I love and can turn into a career. That way I can grow and feel like I'm doing something with my life. I know there has to be some type of job that'll inspire me. I just have to find it.
Plus I sort of found out about Zuda this weekend too. Zuda has decide to no longer hold the monthly competition to find new comics. This means my comic I submitted six weeks ago probably won't see light of day on their website. This sucks a lot too. I was really hoping to have the opportunity to present my comic to whole new audience and maybe get paid a little for it. If anything this news is really getting me down and wondering what should I do with my life.
If it makes you feel any better I was in my 30s before I figured out what I wanted to do. And I still have times when I wonder if this is "really" what I want to do. I do love my job. I look forward to going to work, working with students, writing, designing research, and helping people to grow. But, at the end of the day, it remains a job. My real career is our family and the process of building an eternal family!
ReplyDeleteHey big bro...it's ok if you don't know what you want to do yet with your life...I have not idea. One thing I do know is to do something you love (and you will find it eventually). Don't do something you are good at just because you are good at it. That's what I'm doing right now and it's ok, but I don't enjoy or look forward to my days. I'm wishing my work days away...which is pretty much wishing my life away. You don't want your life like that either. It will take time for you (me and anyone else) to find out what they are inspired by. Take time to think about it. You don't have to know what you want today.
ReplyDeleteI know things will work out honey. I wish, wish, wish, it was easy to make money drawing comics! I know you are so talented and I really want you to do something you love. I know we'll figure it out together :D and I will love and support you no matter what you end up doing!!
ReplyDeleteYou have hit upon the hardest question after who to marry. It is an adventure finding that special career that makes us happy. You have that special girl and the career will come in time. You have time to find it.
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